Do you hate or feel down about yourself? … Well don’t!!!
You need to learn to love and respect yourself. What have you done to yourself to deserve to be hated or down trodden by you of all people?! Get that word hate out of your vocabulary and NEVER use it again! People throw that destructive word around to describe many things. However for 95% of the time it’s totally inappropriate to use it or other destructive words. You should never hate any person, no matter what they’ve done, especially yourself! Hating sin is a different matter though.
The words that you use to express yourself, merely amplify the feelings that you’re expressing with those very words. It’s far better to focus on words or things that take us out of analysing and judging ourselves. You probably need to seek forgiveness for destructive words or for meditating on destructive thoughts about yourself. Ask God to lead you forward and for a hope and a future. Helping others and having goals to work towards is a great way to take your eyes off yourself.
The behaviour of other people in general reflects how we see ourselves. My life got a whole lot better once I decided to do things because I wanted to do them, even if I had no one to do them with. I do many things now just for fun and I’ve pretty much stopped caring what others think of me, but I’ve started caring for others much more!
Seeking God for who He is and spending time in His presence, not particularly praying for anything or anyone, but asking him to be with me has seriously helped me big style. Becoming healthy has been VITAL too, as has what I focus on.
What we focus on we gravitate towards. If you focus on bad things or negative things then you are inviting them into our life – ignore them!!! Instead find a passion, or a vision, or a dream, go and focus on it and do something about it and you’ll gain immense satisfaction.
I have a totally non-musical background and at almost 49 years old, I’m attempting to learn the guitar and I’m loving it! Your passion might be learning to tie knots, or learning about survival, or cycling, or growing food, or making soup. These are all things I’ve thrown myself into and loved learning about or developing my skills in them. Many things cost absolutely NOTHING. For example I learned to make rope and twine using nothing other than stinging nettles! It really is amazingly strong stuff!!! I had immense fun doing it and I was all on my own. I had a goal, I accomplished it and then I refined my skills in it.
Life is so much more fun when we can focus on something and then go and do something about it. For a few moments, in reading this there’s a good chance that you felt a little bit better in yourself. The reason is not that this is some brilliant blog post, but due to the fact that you are focusing on something that is external to yourself which is hopefully encouraging you to look forward and outward.
It’s homework time!
To finish with, I’d like to challenge you right now to do some home work! Go get a pen and paper, if you don’t have any to hand then just do this exercise in your head.
- Write down 10 things that are excellent and praiseworthy that you really appreciate or enjoy. You see, focusing on good things, helps make you feel better!
- Pray and ask God to help you guide your thoughts and to help you to plan a way forward.
- Then write down an excellent or praiseworthy goal, something that you really want to do or achieve that is realistic. It must be excellent or praiseworthy, so wanting to rob a bank is out of the question I’m afraid! Try and make your goal or vision something that YOU can do something about, rather than having to rely on or require the motivation of others.
- Write down something that you can DO either right now, or tomorrow, and the next day that will take you a little way towards that goal. The thing that you do could be something as simple as reading up on a website about how to do something, or you could buy a self help book on knitting if that’s what you want to do! Sometimes, part of the doing involves learning first.
- Each day, try and do the above visualization and writing down exercises to expand or clarify your goal, identifying any clear things to do to help you in the right direction. Each day, remember to also write down 10 special things too! In the tough times you can then look back on this and gain encouragement.
Then go and DO what you’ve planned to do!
If something doesn’t work out then great, you can learn from it – go get on with another thing, or change direction, but keep going.
Have fun and let me know how you get on!
Kind regards, Stuart